Told You So

Let me begin by saying that Nathan and I have slept less than 6 hours since Wednesday.

Wednesday afternoon, my mom and mother-in-law offered to each take a baby for the night. Nathan and I were wary of giving them the responsibility of tending to two fussy babies, but decided we desperately needed the sleep. We gave our moms plenty of milk and headed to bed.

At 2 AM, we were still awake. We could hear the boys crying in different parts of the house and it made falling asleep difficult. I felt guilty that our moms were awake, and I also found it impossible not to go running to my babies to take care of them myself. At 5 AM, we took over for my mom. She was alone with Ezra and Elliott so Cheryl could get some sleep before work.

The first thing my mother said was: "This is not normal."

I couldn't help but laugh as I said, "I told you so!" Before my mom even arrived, I had repeatedly told her that the babies never slept at night. She thought I was exaggerating and kept telling me, "Babies wake up. That's what they do. They can't always sleep!" After one colicky baby and a toddler who knows no bedtime, Nathan and I definitely did not have unrealistic expectations regarding the twins and sleep. If we could sleep four hours or even two uninterrupted hours, it would be pure bliss! I tried to explain that they needed to be constantly rocked, bounced, or fed, but none of my explanations seemed to drive the point home.

Staying awake all night with Ezra and Elliott definitely drove the point home. Even though I felt bad that our mothers lost hours of sleep, someone could finally empathize with us and know the situation wasn't "typical."

By Thursday afternoon, my mom and Cheryl were brainstorming possible solutions to our "babies who never sleep" predicament. The boys undoubtedly have enormous amounts of gas which keeps them awake. I thought once the thrush was treated, the gas would disappear. Not so. They continue to writhe and cry all night, but somehow are just fine during the day. My belief is that they are so exhausted from being awake all night that they have to sleep during the day. Who knows, though?

We have tried Mylicon drops (which never worked with Eliza, so I consider them a joke) and changing bottles. We have tried burping them more frequently, and I have stopped eating all dairy. However, the problem persists.

When Eliza had colic, Nathan and I could take turns sleeping. With two babies who constantly cry, we cannot take turns. We are both awake, and we are both miserable.  So, if you have any time to spare, could you please send some warm thoughts our way? I welcome any and all suggestions as well. I have tried just about everything in the book, but too much advice never hurt anyone!

Somehow, Nathan and I have been able to stay (mostly) positive. Maybe it's because we have survived colic before and we know that it ends. Maybe it's because we have help during the day (when the babies are amazingly good!). I have moments where I feel as though I can't make it, but we manage to survive another day.

I mentioned before that I believe trials are learning experiences. Last night, I realized that marriage really is not only about love, but about becoming a true partnership. Once one baby fell asleep, Nathan and I both tried to take the fussy baby so the other one could sleep. Nathan didn't say, "Well, my baby fell asleep, so good luck!" Instead, he offered to take the other baby and tried to get me to sleep.

Our sleep deprivation hasn't made us forget the simple courtesies in marriage. In fact, we are more in tune with each other's needs. When the fussiness finally leaves, these memories of my husband's kindness and selflessness will remain.

And that makes me happy. Who knew sleeplessness could be so eye-opening? (Yeah, that was a pun! Get it? Yes, it was cheesy. Yes, I need to go to sleep)