Jaws

I had a lot of things that I thought about writing about this morning (our upcoming yard sale, Elliott trying to roll, Elmo being awesome, and Eliza loving to jump on the trampoline to name a few), but all of those things can wait because I cannot stop thinking about Jaws. And when I say Jaws, I am speaking about the shark rather than the entire movie (although Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Schieder are awesome). OK. So maybe not the actual animatronic shark, Bruce, from the movie, but the idea of a huge predatory shark who enjoys hunting people!

Last night, I had a dream I was swimming in the ocean. I grew up in South Carolina, so I spent my summers on the beach and near the water. Please note, I said near the water--not in the water. I have had a fear of the water (and what I cannot see in the water) for as long as I can remember. Even in my dream, where I should be safe and wonderful things should happen, I was terrified because I knew there could be a shark lurking somewhere in the ocean surrounding me.

Somewhere in my subconscious, I realized I was sleeping and willed myself to wake up (have you done this before? It's always a strange experience).  I was in that semi-sleep state, where you are almost asleep/almost awake and you feel just really out of it. However, I finally fell back to sleep and had the same dream again. I was frantically swimming and woke up with my arm flailing, nearly hitting Ezra who was sleeping beside me. This happened twice, meaning I had my shark dream three times! Every time a baby cried, I woke up and thought I was swimming away from a shark. My nerves cannot handle that kind of stress! I need to get a few hours of down time during the day/night and now my sleep isn't even safe.

And now I'm afraid to bring a baby to bed in the middle of the night. All I want is to feed my baby, comfort him, and get some much needed sleep. However, I don't know if I can trust myself (and my moving arms) if I continue having dreams where I am swimming (or running or moving my body at all).

I guess I shouldn't watch Jurassic Park for a while.