Apparently, I'm a Threat to National Security

When our flight was delayed three hours due to "severe weather conditions" in Dallas, the passengers aboard our plan were calmed with the statement: "Do not worry. All flights are being delayed. You will not miss your connecting flight. I repeat: You will not miss your connecting flight."

Why do you LIE American Airlines?

We landed at 10:48 PM; our next flight left at 10:53 PM. That's right. A whopping five minutes to run with our baby in her stroller to the terminal furthest away from us. It will probably not surprise you that we missed our flight. We thought they might hold the plane for us (which has happened before when the airline KNOWS you are there...just stuck on another plane), but they didn't.

What they DID do, however, was offer to give us a "discounted" rate to spend the night in a hotel because the next flight didn't leave for 16 hours. We didn't even get a voucher. Just a discount. Ridiculous.

Well, the real trouble started today- the morning after all the supposed mayhem. I realized the luggage I was asked to check at the gate (because there was no room in the overhead bins) had all of my identification in it. I assumed I would get the luggage back at the end of the flight, but nope; they sent those bags off. My wallet with my driver's license and credit cards was already in Salt Lake City by the time I woke up this morning. Frantic, I called the airline and they told me: "People lose identification all the time. Just come early for a background check and you are good to go." No problem. Easy.

Until I failed the clearance questions....TWICE. After explaining I had only recently changed my name and perhaps all questions should be answered with my maiden name, I was told: "We can find no record of a Cecilia Robbins living at any of those addresses."

Well....I TOLD YOU: "I wasn't Cecilia ROBBINS when I was living with my parents for 18 years!"

And then, I said: "Would I have passed clearance if you had been searching for the answers to these questions, assuming I was Cecilia White?"

"I can't answer that, ma'am."

WELL, WHY NOT!

The best part though came when an airport supervisor was asked to speak to a higher up in Washington, D.C. Again, I failed their series of questions. The supervisor, Latisa, was just as upset as I was. She informed the man that I was a mother, travelling with my baby, and that my husband did have identification (if that would help at all). His response was to ask what I was DOING and how my demeanor was. Really. Umm...let's see. Shifty eyes... sweaty.. nervous... definitely anxious. Yep! What did he think I was doing? I was holding my baby, looking exhausted, and ready to go home.

Well, after failing with TSA twice, the police were called over. They searched me and did yet another background check. This time I passed.

And that's how American Airlines nearly ruined my vacation. I will NEVER fly with them ever again. Beware.

Visions of Sugarplums

I need to clean.

I am on vacation and it is KILLING me that I left my house in ruins. While most people dream about wonderful things like being on a sunny beach or having loads of money, I dream about cleaning my house. I go room to room, putting everything in order and scrubbing/polishing to my heart's desire.

Even now, Eliza is sleeping and I keep thinking: "Man! This is the perfect time to get some work done."

I need to get over it, I know. OCD isn't the most attractive trait.

Never Again...

will I fly two thousand miles with a dog and a baby. Somehow, we survived. Christmas details are forthcoming once I am reuinited with a stable internet connection.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Best Gift Ever

I got Nathan "Freaks and Geeks" for Christmas. But really, I got it for myself. You know how that goes.

Good thing he never reads this thing.

Impossible!

With letters like these, Nathan STILL managed to beat me.

Is It Too Weird and Hipster-y?

Eliza Lounges

... and even uses arm rests.

Nerds? Perhaps.

I gave this to Nathan tonight:

Scrabble Upwards!!

I was supposed to save it for Christmas, but I always ruin surprises because I get too excited. Nathan beat me. Twice. That's why I like normal Scrabble better.

Check it Out!

Nathan and his band "Somber Party" are featured in a community blog here in Provo. Entitled 21st & Ivy, the blog features local bands and notable artist in the Provo scene. A number of talented musicians are featured this month, singing various Christmas tunes. Check out Somber Party's rendition of "What Child is This." I think you'll like it (especially the violin and guitar solos...amazing).

I Was Being Sarcastic!

My dad always told me: "Sarcasm is of the devil."

I was overly sarcastic throughout my childhood and adolescence. I couldn't help it. And even now, I know it's something I need to work on. However, this really made me laugh today. Enjoy this gem:

Congatulations! You Made it to 28!

Hey you!You're 28! And alive! Although you didn't make it into the infamous "27 club," joining the ranks of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain, I still firmly believe you will become a legendary musician (just later rather than sooner). I appreciate all the time you have willingly sacrificed to help me with Baby. Hopefully, the days of music writing and band practices will return soon!Eliza really is your biggest fan.You've shown me that service is love. I appreciate all the multitasking so I can have a break....Thanks for always offering to hold Baby (well you might not always offer, but you always accept her when I hand her over)....It turns out you're pretty good at making her happy.
I think she makes you happy too (when she isn't screaming all night, of course).Let's not forget me here. You are the Mr. Rogers to my Sally. So maybe that doesn't make sense, but I love Mr. Rogers and I love how you dress like him even when it's not Halloween (except for today when you wore a three-piece suit to church with pants that came to you ankles and short socks with navy blue CLOTH shoes. Not cool, buddy. Not cool).

Continuing though! You bring a smile to my face many a day.Well, most days. Just kidding! I had you worried there for a minute, didn't I? In all seriousness, you are the best. Thank you for your continuing patience.Sorry I'm so mean when we play Scrabble. You know it's only because I HATE losing. Also, I'm sorry for laughing when you couldn't open that can. It was funny though. I have proof.

See!

Whew. Glad I got that off my chest! I hope you had a wonderful day. You know I'm horrible at direct communication, so enjoy reading this post! I hope it wasn't overly "I desperately love you!" You're my best friend. And just know, you share a birthday with these sexy men:

Oh yeah! Steve Buscemi!
For any readers, feel free to roll your eyes or make sounds of disgust.

Spirit Fingers

Over the past few weeks, I have grown accustomed to the dance moves and Portuguese songs Nathan exclusively performs for Eliza. However, never before have I seen my husband wiggle his fingers in front of our baby's face with arms fully extended.

I looked over at the pair a moment ago and witnessed this.

"Spirit Fingers? Really, Nathan?"

"What? She likes them! And it's not always Spirit Fingers when you move you fingers like that. It's only Spirit Fingers when your arm is raised. My arms were straight out...so it actually looked more like I was casting a spell than doing Spirit Fingers."

Seriously. I shouldn't even post this, but I want to remember this moment in five to ten years.

Sheesh

Eliza's a little peanut. Yesterday, we stared at each other for a full five minutes or so. It was amazing to see how alert she is. I can't wait until she is a little bit older so we can start baby sign language.

While we're on the subject, what do people think about baby sign language? I know it seems to be a big deal these days, but I love the concept of being able to communicate with my child so early. I'll let you know how it works out in a few months!

Camouflage Dog

Well That's A Bummer

It turns out the beloved Amby Bed (the one I have been recommending to everyone in sight) has been recalled. Apparently, two infants are known to have died this summer using this soothing hammock. I woke up this morning with messages from a friend of a friend and my cousin, who had both seen my various posts regarding the Amby Bed.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm grateful for this little blog and all of the kind people I have met and grown closer to through it. It was the most reassuring feeling to know Eliza was being looked after. So, to all of you people with Amby Beds, take a look at the recall. A repair kit is supposedly being made for the bed. I recant my recommendation, although it still continues to be the only way to get Eliza to sleep. It certainly has been a miracle worker, but it isn't worth the risks.

Well, this certainly explains why the website said Amby Bed was temporarily not selling any of their product. I could NOT understand why a company would simply stop manufacturing or shipping their highly demanded product. It made no sense at the time, but now I completely understand.

Guess I won't be reselling my Amby Bed on Craigslist or KSL anytime soon.

Boys, Boys, Boys

Over the past year, several of my friends and acquaintances (and even my sister) have become pregnant or had babies. Of the thirteen or so women who come to mind, I can only think of two ladies who have born daughters: my friend Jessica and myself. I am sure there are more than that, but at the moment, that's really all I can think of.

So why? Isn't that slightly strange? That's what I thought. And then, I heard the apparently well-known fact that times of war breed boys. Truly, the articles I found on the subject are fascinating.

And then I read this: "Diet Before Pregnancy Can Affect Baby's Sex." After various studies, scientists concluded a higher energy intake around conception was linked to the birth of sons. So to all of you women who consume low fat foods and skip breakfast, chances are: you'll have a daughter. I guess my poor eating habits produced Eliza, instead of a Dignan or Roland (Nathan's favorite boy names). Strange.

So here's to not eating before noon, I suppose. However, I am planning on a high caloric diet for the next few years. I think a little Atticus or Parker of my own would be a lovely playmate for Eliza.Just look at them! What cuties! The odds are already in Eliza's favor :)

Dear Good Samaritan,

Shoveling nearly three square blocks of driveways and sidewalks for your neighbor was just too kind! You were like a Christmas elf, leaving your little gift of service for everyone to pleasantly discover. I hope you had some help because it certainly looked like a decent amount of hard work was accomplished.

However, I do have a question. My husband and I are wondering why you skipped our driveway and the sidewalk in front of our house. On either side of us, the sidewalks are clean. The driveways are shoveled. We can see where you picked up your mini plow and pushed it past our house. It left tread marks. And then we can see where you resumed your work for another solid block.

Do you hate us? Did Toby growl at you on one of our walks? Did we leave our trash by the curb for TOO long after the trash pickup day? Do we not have enough Christmas lights outside? Really. I don't get. And you hurt my feelings. My husband tried to think of some reason why you would skip us, but failed miserably.

Because we've only lived here for a couple of months, I really hope you just have some sort of vendetta against the previous owner (even though she was the nicest old lady I have ever met). I'm really not bitter- just perplexed.

p.s. Is it ok that I hope it snows six inches tonight or so? Cause I do. And you know why. I hate snow, so there is only one reason I would hope for that. Ambiguous enough? I know I'm rude. But not hateful. Nope.

Surprise, Surprise

When Nathan, Eliza, and I went to bed last night at 4 AM, it was freezing outside. I would know because I walked Toby then. For the 20 minutes we were outside, I was cursing his existence and hating Utah, but at least thankful I didn't have to walk him in snow.

Around ten, I woke up to Toby whimpering to go outside. Typical. Also typical is the ensemble I wear when I go out. My friend Christa, who is also a new mom with a dog, and I were laughing yesterday as we talked about what we must look like to our neighbors when we go on our dog walks. The outfits entail: whatever shoes I can find (most often flip-flops and sometimes even NO shoes beause I am white trash like that), pajama pants, a t-shirt, and any jacket around (most likely Nathan's or a ridiculously oversized NorthFace). And the hair- the hair is always embarrassing.

Usually, I am in my zombie trance-like mode. This means I am only semi awake and overwhelmingly dizzy with sleep or exhaustion. Toby literally pulls me along, and I go. This morning wasn't out of the ordinary. I was still mostly asleep as I fumbled to put on my Rainbow sandals and a jacket over my pajamas. I opened the door and was literally blinded by the light. My eyes adjusted for a second, and then I saw this:

Man, I really hate snow. No longer is it this wonderful, magical thing I imagined when I was a child in South Carolina. Nathan suggested today that one of our life goals be to live in a place where it never snows. He really is perfect for me.

Overheard in Church

While reaching for Eliza's diaper bag during Sacrament meeting, I briefly rested my arm on Nathan's thigh for support as I leaned over. Nathan instantly grimaced and said "owww!"

I looked at him questioningly, as if to say "what? I did nothing." He quickly whispered: "My muscles really hurt. It's from all that dancing I've been doing lately to keep baby happy."

He was serious. We need to exercise.

I Can See the Sign, Warning:

Nervous Breakdown Looming- 15 Miles Ahead.

And at the rate Eliza has been going the past couple of days, I should be there any minute.

Two days, ladies and gentlemen. She has been crying straight for TWO DAYS. After sleeping through the night on Tuesday, convincing me she was cured of all ills, her fussiness has returned with a vengeance. And just like Bruce Willis, she is NOT going down without a fight.

I'm praying she feels better. I know she is hurting. I suppose I need to work more on seeing her as the victim- not me. But goodness, it breaks my heart to be completely helpless. Truly, I hate this.

E.E. Cummings Speaks to My Soul

i am a little church by E. E. Cummings

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
-i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
-i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)


somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond by E. E. Cummings

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

E.E. Cummings. I love him. I love that Eliza's initials are E.E. However, I do believe Eliza Eden sounds much better than Edward Estlin.

So Maybe Forever Was Only A Few Days

I caved. I ate gummy bears. I said I would never eat them again and lasted mere days. It's Walmart's fault. That place is evil. And my craving was INTENSE!

But really, just because I eat them doesn't mean I support what Haribo does (even though that is exactly what it means in a sense).

I can't blame my craving on being pregnant like I did before, either.

Well, I better not be able to.

At A Loss...

Tonight at work, I was reminded that not all people are loving and kind. And you know what, I don't always like remembering that. I was assisting various customers and walking around the dining area of the restaurant when I noticed a young couple with a newborn baby. The baby girl reminded me of Eliza with her big blue eyes and tiny smirk. I smiled at the couple and the baby, missing my own little lady.

A few minutes after the couple sat down, I heard the baby begin to cry. Because she was only a couple of weeks old, the cry was pretty faint. However, my body is in full mothering mode. Every part of me knew a baby was crying and needed help. Additionally, I knew the cry: it was a hungry cry. Soon, the little wail became frantic. I tried focusing on other customers, but I could literally feel my body respond to that little baby's needs. I looked at the parents, hoping they would help their own child.

And they ate.

They didn't even glance down at their child in her baby carrier. They continued to talk with one another and eat their meal.

I took a couple of breaths and tried to calm myself. I was ANGRY. I don't usually ever feel that emotion, but I definitely felt it tonight. How could they feed themselves while neglecting a helpless baby who depends on them to fulfill their needs. I went to the back of the store and busied myself for ten minutes or so, willing the family I was so frustrated with to leave. When I came back out to the dining area, I fully expected them to be gone. Just as my luck would have it, they were still there. The tiny baby was still crying.

20 minutes. They let their daughter SCREAM for that long. It was nauseating. And I wasn't the only person who noticed. Several of my coworkers noticed the family and all of them were surprised and then shocked by the parents.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal to some of you, and perhaps, I am making a big deal of the situation. I was just so upset by the impersonality of the entire scenario. There was such an obvious disconnect. And perhaps, I was already upset from the actions of other customers. Earlier in the night, a group of grown men attempted to "steal" the seats a coworker and I had saved for a disabled girl and her father. The girl, who was in a wheelchair, sat at a table waiting for her father. I had gone out of my way to secure the ONLY wheelchair accessible table for them, only to see her looking distressed a few minutes later when two men attempted to MOVE her and take her seat. SERIOUSLY!? Again, maybe it was because my father is in a wheelchair, but you DON'T do that!

This, added to rude remarks and snide looks, made for a very unpleasant night. But in the end, it made me so much more appreciative of all my many friends who are kind and loving. I was and am thankful to know such loving people and to have a husband who is so kind. So for all of you wonderful people, keep doing what you do. Really. People DO notice.