Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Hardest Thing About Having Twins

Last week, as some of you may have seen me post on Facebook, a complete stranger at the grocery store said, "Twins!? God must REALLY hate you!"

Ridiculous, I know. Of course, I shrugged off the comment and didn't let it bother me too much. I was mostly shocked that a person would actually deem it appropriate to say such a thing to another person.

Before I became pregnant with twins, I knew several other women who already had twins of their own. Four of these women had blogs that I regularly followed, so I was somewhat aware of the various challenges associated with parenting two infants at once (and by somewhat, I really mean somewhat). Nursing has taken a ton of effort, sleeping is even more precious than it ever was before, and things can get crazy with two screaming babies!

Now that Ezra and Elliott are nearly ten months old, we have a familiar routine. Feeding two babies doesn't take much longer than feeding one, diaper changes are a breeze, and putting two babies in car seats feels like second nature. The boys entertain each other when I am trying to clean up or prepare dinner, which sometimes makes having two easier than only one! Having twins is part of our life. It has become our new normal, so I am never sure how to respond when people ask questions like, "What's the hardest thing about about having two babies?"

If I wanted to be honest, I could talk to them for a couple of hours about the sleep training, the mastitis, the costs of providing for two infants, the feeding tube and horrible pregnancy. I could go on to discuss the fact that I feel like I can never get any errands done when I have the twins because people can't stop staring and asking questions. There are a number of things I would like to say, but I realized this morning that there is actually only one thing that really makes me feel bad sometimes. When the boys woke up, I walked into the nursery and they were both crying in their cribs. They saw me, instantly smiled, and raised their arms up, asking to be held. But who to pick up first!? This is my dilemma throughout the day. I try to alternate between boys, but it always breaks my heart when I pick up one little baby and the other looks at me like I am abandoning him. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the hardest thing about having two babies. Someone always wants to be held and usually, both babies want/need cuddling simultaneously.

Fortunately, my boys are still relatively small, and I can usually manage to find a way to hold them both (when I am sitting down). I know things will become more difficult when they are both walking and destroying our house, but I'm sure that will become normal, too, after a while. Right?

We really are lucky to have twice as many smiles everyday. These faces are some of the cutest ones I know. And at the end of every day, every mother has her own challenges. I'm glad these are mine.


  1. I just love these boys! It is hard to decide who want to give loves to because they are both so lovable.

  2. It sounds silly too say that I live nap time not because I usually get an awesome nap but because for those few hours I get to happily both my boys. Today Elliot woke up during his nap cryingand crawled into my lap and just had me hold him till he fell back asleep. Two boys are the best and I'm so happy you get double the love at once!

  3. Shame on whoever says "God must hate you" in reference to your babies. Your children are a gift. A beautiful, precious gift. And entirely adorable if I do say so myself =)

  4. I totally agree. My hardest thing is giving each enough attention. They always want to be held at the same time. When they started walking it got worse -now I pick one up and the other grabs my legs and cries:( I'm going on a trip soon and only bringing one of them-who do I choose?! Oh the trials of twinmoms. At least we know God loves us enough to bless/trust us with two:)

  5. Love this post! I'm sorry anyone felt the need to say those horrible things to you. Maybe that's why God didn't give them twins? ~ Jamie

  6. Yesterday my friend said, "I know you really like your twins, but if I had twins I'd probably cry."
    And the only response that I had was, "Sometimes I cry, too."

    I think you hit it on the head though: Sometimes twins are hard, but mostly they are wonderful. Which is probably how life in general is.


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