The past couple of weeks, Ezra has made it abundantly clear that he no longer wants to nurse. I have tried every trick I can think of to coax him back into the habit, but he will lock his arms and push away from me as hard as possible. It's hard not to get the memo (and to feel a little rejected). Elliott, on the other hand, is still a happy nurser...as long as there are absolutely no distractions. Our recent routine consists of me nursing Elliott and then pumping for Ezra.
And I am so tired of pumping.
It wasn't too long ago that I remember a friend telling me she lasted nearly a year of pumping for her baby. After pumping for six months with Eliza, I couldn't believe her endurance and determination. It takes time to actually pump and then feed the baby and then wash the bottles...and then you do it again three hours later. I really thought I could never last that long.
The twins are 8 months old, and I have pumped every 2-4 hours every day of their lives. Even when they nursed, I would pump afterwards to build my supply and add to my stockpile. At this point, waking up in the middle of the night to pump and washing bottles 7-8 times a day has become a regular part of my life. I keep hoping Ezra will change his mind and decide he is ready to be nursed again, but I don't see that happening due to adamant protests.
Four more months until I reach my new goal of a year. If I make it, I will be extremely proud of myself. If I decide to give up a little sooner than planned, I don't think I will feel guilty. As long as we are all happy, that is all that really matters (to me, at least). In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy my time nursing Elliott and rocking Ezra with his bottle.
I totally understand what you mean about part of your bonding being taken away. When Anna used to sleep on me, I loved it so much. Especially now that she doesn't do it anymore. Obviously, physical touch love language right here. I don't think you'll give up before a year (because you are one determined lady), but if you do you can definitely do it knowing that those boys are extremely healthy mostly in part to your amazing pumping/nursing work. And yes, it is hard work. I wish I felt better capable of continuing on with it, but it's absolutely time to move on and I know that Anna is a incredibly happy baby. Hooray for only 4 months to go girl! You're amazing!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great! At 8 months my girls decided they were done nursing and while I was sad for maybe two minutes-I was also pretty relieved. I went to formula and haven't felt mad for even a second:) Good for you going for the goal. I'm so glad life is getting easier.
ReplyDeleteWhen my boys decided that they were done nursing (at 6 months) I was like "Whatever. You just lost your breast milk."
ReplyDeleteAnd I stopped. It KILLED because I stopped suddenly, and my body still wanted to produce tons of milk, (so you should wean off the pump) but I think that it's okay to stop if you want. They're so lucky that they were able to get breast milk and breast feed for so long, and obviously breast milk has lots of things that formula doesn't, but I think you've passed the formative state where it matters SO MUCH whether they have formula or not, and the important thing is the bonding.
Ha! If I were you, I'd make him drink formula. :)
But I'm obviously a mean mom.