Today in Facebook Statuses (Stati?)

Remember when Facebook statuses were first introduced? There was no way to avoid saying "is" in the status, but it seemed to work okay. It was novel to read about your friends' daily actions and see things like, "Becca is going to the dentist" or "Katy is watching Thomas the Train."

Then, it evolved to where the "is" was no longer necessary. This was my favorite phase of Facebook status updates. I enjoyed seeing things like, "Megan rules the world" and "Julie goes to Goodwill. Finds amazing things."

So, when I was up at 4 AM throwing up and slightly delirious this morning, I thought of how I would update my Facebook statuses if it were circa 2007.

Just imagine, "Cecilia" in front of all of these thoughts:

Wakes up with fever, throws up all night.
Lays on the cold bathroom floor. Prays for Nathan to find her.
Is saved by her husband, and taken to the couch.
Is joined by her daughter, who is also sick. Watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse at 5 AM.
Nurses babies. Holds designated "barf bowl" to prevent accidents.
Is sent to bed. Husband wins all major awards possible for being awesome.
Wakes up. Nurses babies. Stays on couch like a zombie.
Has vertigo.
Is saved by Grandma and Aunt Dee.
Watches helplessly as other people tend to her children.
Sleeps some more.
Holds Eliza's hand as she "coughs" into the big yellow bowl.
Continues to nurse babies. Is awesome supermom.
Profusely thanks Grandma and Aunt Dee for sacrificing an entire day to help our family.
Puts a very sick little girl to bed.
Nurses babies, who pity her and decide to sleep.
Remembers how awful it is to throw up all day. Never wants to have morning/all day sickness again.
Survives today.
Blogs because it's how she processes things.
Talks in third person.
Is obviously really tired.

Sometimes, I really miss the old Facebook. It's good to see I have my priorities.