Letters

As many of you know, my engagement to Nathan was not a typical one. After months of praying and countless Sundays fasting (Nathan and family- not me!), I knew Heavenly Father wanted us to marry and start a beautiful little family. I tried to patiently wait for Nathan to come to the same conclusion. In all honesty- it was agonizing and quite possibly the most difficult trial I have faced so far in this life.  However, the result was well worth the wait :)

The day Nathan proposed (he drove to Portland secretly and completely shocked me), I received a series of letters from family members and even my chiropractor ( I told you- I had NO idea).  I was instructed not to open each letter until the end of the day when I was alone and could think by myself.  If you know me (or if you are like most people), you will understand how difficult this was for me. I agonized over every letter, expecting heartbreaking advice from all of these various people I loved dearly.  In reality, though, each letter is a beautiful gift of love I will always cherish.  When Nathan showed up unexpectedly in the park I was visiting with my now sister-in-law, Heather, I knew exactly what the letters meant. Needless to say, it was a most relieving moment.

As I approached Nathan in disbelief, he asked me if I had the letters. Lucky for him- I did (I had almost left them in the car).  I began to open the envelopes and read each of the four letters.  It was the last letter given to me by Heather that I treasure the most.  It was entitled "Future Visions and Endless Possibilities." Because I am sure Nathan would not appreciate me broadcasting his feelings to all of the world, I want to only share the end of the letter with you.

"This is it! The world is ours, to make of it anything and everything we want it to be.  I want to do everything with you. Literally everything All the boring stuff and the fun stuff: cooking, cleaning, diapers, walking, sleeping, hiking, biking, flying, sneezing, boating, smiling, and when we get a moment, just being with each other and holding us.

I see us going grocery shopping together. You get the cart. I get the baby.  :)

I see us going to the park on our bikes with one of those kid-bike strollers, and playing all day and then sitting down for a picnic.

I see us staying up late just laying side by side and talking.

I see us reading the same things and you smiling and looking over at me and waiting because you read so much faster than me.

I see us walking on a beach in Brazil.

I see us falling asleep to a movie with baby on my chest and you laying next to me.

I see braid night with the featured stylist...DAD :)

I see my mom talking your ear off every reunion and probably over the phone every Sunday.

I see cartoon Saturdays!

I see all of these and so many other amazing moments we'll have together for the rest of our lives.....

SO...

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Obviously, that was one of the happiest moments of my life, mostly because it meant so many wonderful life changes. I love my husband dearly, and I am so blessed to have him.  It is thoughts like this that keep me going during hard days and nights like these. Currently, I have mastitis. I am exhausted and my body is dying for a break. Nathan has been juggling training for a new job and school and really needs his sleep.  But, like he foresaw, we DO do everything together. He did dishes last night, he changes almost all the diapers, and right now, he just got home from school, and Baby is on his chest as they watch television. I love him and Eliza, and I am so grateful Heavenly Father gave us this opportunity, trusting us enough to be parents to this little girl.  It's hard, but I have to remember it's what I prayed so hard for; It's exactly what I wanted.

Now mastitis and sleep deprivation- I definitely didn't want that...but I guess like the saying goes, sometimes you do have to take the good with the bad.