I'm a Little Busy

The babies are growing at a furious pace, which means I am doing everything possible to keep up with them when it comes to nursing/pumping. In three days, the babies went from eating 18 ounces daily to 35 ounces a piece in a 24 hour period. They nearly doubled their milk intake, which means I am producing more than 2 liters of milk a day! I will never look at a 2 liter bottle of soda the same way.

On Saturday, when the feeding frenzy began, I was feeling slightly defeated. I wasn't sure I could continue nursing and pumping hourly like I had been. There was no time to slow down and rest, even though my mother and Cheryl were both around to help.  I was exhausted and knew my body needed a break.  Later on that evening, I began reading "Mothering Multiples," a book specifically on breastfeeding twins/triplets (thanks Becky!). Although I had skimmed through the book prior to delivery, I reread the chapter on making a good start to breastfeeding with renewed interest. I then stumbled upon "Guidelines for Bottle Feeding the Breastfed Baby."

LIGHTBULB. AKA the answer to prayer.

Because we have been vigilantly recording all milk intake for Ezra and Elliott, the majority of the feedings are via bottle.

Here's a sneak peak of our daily schedule. Fun, fun!

The Playtex Drop-ins were our bottle of choice, but I was worried the boys were working too hard for their food (especially after the pediatrician told me about premature babies using too much energy to suck). We temporarily switched back to the Medela bottles and nipples, which were easier for Ezra and Elliott to get milk out of.  And inadvertently, we created a problem.

The "Mothering Multiples" book cautioned that bottle feedings should not be rushed. If the average newborn spends 10 to 30 minutes nursing, then they should also spent 10 to 30 minutes emptying a bottle. Essentially, the flow rate of the bottles was too high for Ezra and Elliott and the boys were accidentally overindulging in milk.

We immediately switched back to Playtex bottles and both boys are eating more normal amounts of milk (24 ounces or so). This, coupled with nursing, has greatly reduced my stress when it comes to making sure Ezra and Elliott are properly fed. Even so, the pumping and nursing has taken over my days and my nights are a blur of feedings and 30 minute cat naps.

Elliott and Ezra in a nursing induced coma.

Every time I wake up and see both babies (no matter what time it is), I feel an immense sense of gratitude that I am Ezra and Elliott's mother. I think about all of the sacrifices our family made to have these children, and I know we have been blessed continually these past few months. I also consider it a true miracle that I am not overwhelmed with emotions or the baby blues. Somehow, I have managed to keep things together and channel all of my energy into mothering.

That being said, I am ready for the feedings to slow down soon! Ezra and Elliott are three weeks old today. Perhaps I will sleep more than an hour at a time in a month or so? Until then, I'll just keep focusing on how precious these tiny faces are.

Ezra

Elliott



Ezra



Wherein I Disregard the Advice of My Pediatrician

Before we left the hospital with Ezra and Elliott, our pediatrician recommended that half of their feedings consist of a high calorie formula. She also instructed us to add Enfamil to any breast milk for an additional caloric boost. Nathan and I listened to her concerns about breast milk "not being enough" for premature babies and decided we would use the high calorie formula if there was not a sufficient supply of breast milk.

The first night at home, the babies both refused the formula. I finally was producing enough for both of them, so after a full day of solely breast milk, they did not care for the taste of Similac. Because of this, Nathan and I opted to feed them only breast milk (without the Enfamil) until their first appointment. If they had not gained a sufficient amount of weight in four days, we would begin supplementing. At last week's appointment, they had eached gained weight and the doctor we saw was pleased with their progress (the town's only pediatrician was away on vacation, so we saw a general practice doctor). The doctor encouraged us to continue breastfeeding and did not mention formula whatsoever.

Yesterday, we had a two week appointment with Ezra and Elliott's actual doctor. The babies were weighed, with Ezra coming in at 5 pounds 9 ounces and Elliott at 6 pounds 6 ounces; that means each baby gained 1 pound 1 ounce from their birth weight! The pediatrician was impressed and said most premature babies hopefully maintain their birth weight by two weeks; a 20- 25% weight gain was amazing in her opinion.

I let her know we tracked all of the babies' feedings and totaled the number of mililiters consumed daily. Taking the previous days feeding totals, the doctor quickly did some math to make sure Ezra and Elliott were getting enough milk. She looked up from her calculator and gasped. Her mouth was left hanging open as she stared at us and then the babies in disbelief; apparently, they are eating a ton.

For premature babies, the pediatrician recommends that for each kiligram (2.2 pounds) the baby weighs, they should eat 160 mililiters a day. Per kiligram, Elliott is eating 190 mililiters a day and Ezra is eating a staggering 220 mililiters. Obviously, they are well fed.

I could tell the pediatrician was impressed, so imagine my surprise when she again encouraged us to use the formula and add Enfamil to my breast milk. She asked why I had not been using the formula, and I had no real answer other than, "I didn't feel like I should" and "The lactation specialist and nurses told me I didn't have to." She gave me a disappointed look, and I felt like I had done something wrong when in reality, I have been doing an awesome job keeping these babies fed (yes, I will brag about myself here because it has been hard work!).

She said Ezra and Elliott may be drinking too much because the breast milk isn't dense enough to satisfy them. She also said that they could be using too much of their energy to process all of the milk they are receiving. None of it really made sense to Nathan and me. We came home and relayed the information to our mothers and neither one of them understood the logic.

I think I'll continue to disregard the formula advice. If I need to use it, I will and I won't feel guilty about it. However, I'm not going to deny my babies perfectly good breast milk.

And lastly, the doctor recommended that the babies not sleep together. Hmmm... I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Has anyone ever heard of separating twins while sleeping? It just seems so unnatural.

The Best Laid Plans...

Nathan turned 30 yesterday. 30!

For weeks, I had been planning a perfect day for him. I wanted to begin the day with breakfast in bed and then excuse him of parenting duties for the rest of the day. Nathan is always busy with Eliza, so I thought a few hours of alone time to escape and write music would be perfection. Additionally, I worked for days on a thoughtful, unique gift for him. He appreciates personal presents, so I tried particularly hard to do something I knew he would love. With the birth of the twins, Nathan's birthday project was put to the side for a little while. I eventually managed to completed the gift with a few days to spare, and the finished product was supposed to arrive on December 13th--his birthday.

I had plans.

Unfortunately, with a two year old and the crazy feeding schedules of two newborns, things do not always go as planned.

On Sunday night, I realized I had mastitis. I spent the majority of Monday laying in bed and trying to rest after a visit to the doctor's office. Thankfully, my mother had arrived the night before, and Nathan and I had some much needed help. Nathan decided to stay up with the twins so I could sleep longer between pumping and began his birthday feeding two babies into the wee hours of the morning.

Feeding babies was something he expected. Eliza waking up FIVE times during the night was something he did not anticipate. My mom tried to help with Eliza, but our little girl wanted her daddy. So, Nathan was awake all night with all three of our children. He managed to sleep three hours before leaving for preschool with Eliza.

Because Eliza had not slept at all during the night, she was in a horribly cranky mood throughout the day. She yelled, screamed, and had a number of tantrums. We tried to enforce naptime, which led to a scream session that lasted over an hour. Nathan and I have never seen Eliza in such a feisty mood! Unfortunately, nothing we did made the situation better; time-outs, attemps at naps, multiple diversions all failed.

By six o'clock, I was exhausted just watching Nathan run around the house with our daughter.  Eliza and him were engaged in an intense power struggle until nearly 10 PM. We somehow managed to squeeze a little brithday party in around 7:30, but this was only a small break during Nathan's day.

The night ended with me in tears. I wanted Nathan to actually enjoy his 30th birthday. Instead, not only did he not get breakfast in bed (there was no milk to make the blueberry muffins he loves), he also did not get a single moment to himself. Furthermore, my gift did not arrive due to a last minute delay in shipping. Fortunately, I had a couple of smaller things to wrap, but my thoughtful gift was supposed to make his day!

Nathan is the most wonderful husband and father, and I desperately wanted him to have an amazing birthday. As I began to apologize to him for his birthday failure, he interrupted and said, "Don't worry about it! I feel great! Just like a father of three should feel." He then smiled, and I could tell he meant it.

I felt a little better.

Most of all, I felt grateful to be married to someone so selfless. He spends his days working and then taking care of Eliza so I can rest and pump/nurse/feed babies throughout the day and night. He continues to be an example to me, and I am so glad he has the ability to be positive when I don't.

So, Happy (late) Birthday, Nathan! I'm glad you enjoyed the carrot cake...

...and the Scott Pilgrim DVD.

Your real gift is coming soon! Promise.

Two Weeks Today

It's hard to believe it has been only two weeks since Ezra and Elliott arrived. This video was taken minutes after their birth and before I actually met them.

They were so content to have space!

14 days have now passed by in a blur of sleepless nights and feedings. Despite the crazy schedule, we have   remarkably happy. Ezra and Elliott are calm, peaceful babies and their presence has brought a definite warmth to our home.

Ezra loves to be held and stare at his brother. He quietly watches Elliott as they lay together in their crib or Moses basket, and it is adorable. He hates being changed or unwrapped from his blanket (probably because he is so little and has absolutely no body fat to keep him warm). He is still so tiny, but I am confident he will catch up to his brother soon. He has been eating much more frequently the last few days, and I am more than willing to accommodate his growing appetite.

Unlike Ezra, Elliott eats on a pretty consistent schedule. Every two and a half hours, he drinks an enormous amount of milk (65 milliliters or so) and is fast asleep until he has to eat again. He loves sneaking his hands out of the blankets once he has been wrapped and has recently started to reach out to Ezra while sleeping; it's pretty cute. He isn't awake very often, but has started opening his eyes for at least a minute or two the last couple of days.

They are wonderful boys. We are so blessed to have two healthy, happy babies.

Bottle Mania

Fact: Feeding twins requires a ridiculous amount of bottles.

After pumping milk throughout the night, the number of dirty bottles steadily accumulates. These bottles, coupled with the multiple feedings throughout the day, lead to constant bottle washing. Because I am slightly obsessive about cleanliness (especially in regards to my little boys), I have a particular system for cleaning. I wash everything in hot soapy water, soak all the parts in scalding hot water, and then place the various bottles, nipples,  and pacifiers in boiling water for a quick dip.

Perhaps this is excessive, but it makes me feel good that everything is good and clean (and safe).

I'll be happy when we no longer have to measure all of the babies' feedings, and they can solely nurse. I know it will save us a ton of time and energy!

**And to answer a question, we have determined that Playtex Nursers with drop-ins are the best bottle for our babies. Becca, Ashley, and I conducted a mini experiment with Playtex bottles, Breastflow bottles, Medela preemie nipples, and Evenflo glass bottles.

The Playtex and Breastflow bottles were our favorites, but the babies seemed to latch better using the Playtex nursers. I also love how easy it is to clean these kinds of bottles and how the drop-ins prevent the babies from sucking in air. Picking out a bottle for premature babies is definitely a science.

Didn't See That Coming!

Apparently, my husband, mother-in-law, and best friends are incredibly good at keeping a secret.

Yesterday afternoon, I stumbled into the kitchen to get a batch of clean bottles. Before I could make it to the sink, I saw two people walk into the living room out of the corner of my eye. I turned and saw two of my dearest friends, Ashley and Becca, standing in my living room.

I had no thoughts other than "what!??!?" and was stunned into silence as I stared at them in disbelief and awe.

I then had a minor panic attack (of excitement) as they came over to hug me. It had been a long night and morning, and seeing them brought immediate feelings of comfort and peace. I felt incredibly loved knowing these two girls had driven 12 hours to see a friend and offer their assistance. All feelings of exhaustion were replaced with utter giddiness. My friends, who I love like family, were here to help.

The last 24 hours, I have felt like a normal woman. Sure, I am pumping 14-15 times a day, but Nathan and I have help with tending to the twins and entertaining Eliza. Ashley and Becca have fed, burped, and changed babies.

They have sung songs with Eliza and watched her as she tried on various outfits.

Ashley gave me a manicure and pedicure, and Becca painted Eliza's nails hot pink.

They brought amazingly thoughtful gifts, like a princess nightgown for Eliza and Christmas sleepers for Ezra and Elliott. 

Ashley also made two adorable blankets for the boys.

And even though we've only sat around together with babies and watched hours of television, I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I feel like a sane, functioning person and not just a sleep deprived, milk-producing machine. The boys are amazingly well-behaved, but I was definitely missing human interaction!

Having good friends is a blessing. I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people. 

As a side note, thank you all for the the encouraging comments and love. All of the kind words have meant so much the last few months and especially the past couple of weeks.

And lastly, thank you Kyle and Ruby for encouraging Becca to come!

Sleep Deprivation

You know you're tired when you fall asleep standing up while washing a bottle.

That's what happened to me around 4 or 5 this morning.

I think the lack of sleep is finally catching up with Nathan and me. Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day feeling slightly disoriented and found myself incapable of moving when the babies woke up wanting to eat. In the middle of the night, Nathan woke up because his legs were shaking uncontrollably due to crazy dreams combined with absolutely no deep sleep.

It's official: We're beat.

Nathan and I are lucky to live with his parents and have some much needed help during the afternoons and evenings once they arrive home from work. During the nights, though, we have been doing all of the work alone. We have tried getting up in shifts, but both of us are usually needed as Ezra and Elliott always manage to wake up within minutes of each other. The last two nights have been rough, as the babies have wanted to eat every hour or so. I'm excited about their growth spurts, though!

No sleep at night leads to very tired parents. Even though the babies sleep constantly, we have no opportunity to nap with a two year old running around. Additionally, Nathan has his at-home job. Needless to say, our house is crazy! When I am nursing a baby, I try to keep Eliza occupied anyway possible. This means my new iPhone is basically hers (if I miss calls/texts, that's why) and that Super Why! has taken over our Netflix.

We've had some friends and church members offer their assistance during the day, but I am being extremely germaphobic and refusing any outside help.  The pediatrician recommended "cocooning" ourselves for at least a few weeks until the boys are a little bigger, and I am fully enforcing this policy. I don't want to take any chances with out little ones.

Speaking of size, the babies are definitely growing. At the pediatrician's office yesterday, Ezra weighed in at 4 pounds 14 ounces, and Elliott weighed a whopping 5 pounds 11 ounces. That means Ezra has gained 13 ounces since coming home, and Elliott has gained 9 ounces. The doctor was impressed with their weight gain, and I felt some much needed encouragement to continue nursing and pumping.

My mom is coming on Sunday, and my only plans are to sleep! In the meantime, we find the occasional moments to nap.

 Thank goodness these boys sleep (unlike their sister)!